TikTok
TikTok is where a huge amount of teen attention happens, including the algorithm that decides what your kid sees next. It is the platform where the feed shapes the kid more than the kid shapes the feed.
Two specific concerns: TikTok historically had porous DM and stranger-comment behavior for accounts under 18 (much of it tightened in the last two years, but still worth verifying), and its algorithm is unusually fast at pulling teens toward content that may not fit them.
The settings that matter
Doing four of these is meaningfully better than reading twenty things and doing none.
Make the account private.
Settings → Privacy → Private Account. For accounts under 16, TikTok defaults this to private — but check anyway, especially after age changes or app updates.
Set up Family Pairing.
Settings → Family Pairing. This is the headline parent tool on TikTok. With your phone and theirs, you can link the two accounts and control screen time, restricted-mode filtering, and DM permissions from your end. Worth doing for any kid under 16, optional for older.
Turn off “Suggest your account to others.”
Settings → Privacy → Suggest your account to others. This stops TikTok from putting your child's account in the suggestions panel of other users — including strangers based on uploaded contact lists.
Restrict DMs.
Settings → Privacy → Direct Messages. Set to “Friends” or “No one” depending on your child's age and use. Under-16 accounts cannot receive DMs at all by TikTok policy, but verify the setting still reflects that.
Lock down Comment, Duet, and Stitch.
Settings → Privacy → Comments / Duet / Stitch. Set each to “Friends” or off entirely. Strangers stitching your child's video and posting commentary is one of TikTok's most common bullying vectors.
Turn on Restricted Mode.
Settings → Content preferences → Restricted Mode. Filters mature content from the algorithm. Imperfect, but it noticeably reduces volume.
Worth knowing about TikTok
- TikTok's algorithm responds extremely fast to what your child watches all the way through. Lingering on a category — for any reason, including curiosity or accident — pulls more of it into the feed. Worth explaining to your kid: the feed is a mirror, not a recommendation.
- The “For You” page does not reflect who your child follows; it reflects what the algorithm has learned about them. A surprising and useful conversation to have, even with older teens.
- Family Pairing is a real feature, not theater. It actually works, and TikTok keeps adding to it.
For your kid
Print the kid-friendly version
The Stay Safe Online booklet covers TikTok (and the rest) in language written for a teen to read. Free, printable, no email required.