The first 30 minutes

Breathe. Slow it down. Three slow breaths before you do anything else. Your child needs the calm version of you, and panic is contagious. You can be afraid and calm at the same time.

Don't delete anything. Not the messages. Not the photos. Not the account. Not the app. Even things that feel obviously horrible to look at are evidence — and the deletion of that evidence can hurt the case later. Just leave it.

Don't confront the other person yet. Not even to threaten. Not even to demand they stop. Confronting can destroy evidence, escalate risk, or tip them off to delete their account. Trained investigators do this part — let them.

If your child is in immediate physical danger, call 911. If they are talking about hurting themselves, dissociating, or in acute crisis — call 988 right now and stay with them. Sextortion victims especially can be in acute danger; this is not an overreaction.

If your child is with you, get to a private space. Sit with them. Don't take the device away in anger — it's now evidence, and confiscating it tells your child they're being punished for telling you. The device stays, the predator's access ends through other means.

Screenshot everything. Conversations, profile pages, usernames, account URLs, payment requests, threats. Get timestamps visible. If you can, take photos of the device's screen with another phone — that captures the URL bar and the time at the same moment, which investigators love.

Lead with: “You are not in trouble. I love you. We are figuring this out together.” These are the only words that matter for the next ten minutes. Children who have been groomed or coerced are usually convinced they will be in trouble. Tell them, by name, that they will not be. Then say it again.

Listen more than you talk. Ask one open question, then wait. Don't interrogate, don't try to clarify timelines, don't react visibly to what they say. Believe what you hear, even if details shift later. Memory under stress is not orderly — that is normal.

Don't post about it. Anywhere. Not even vaguely. Not on Facebook, not in your group chat, not in a parent forum. Public posts compromise investigations and can identify your child. The only people who need to know in the next 24 hours are the people you choose deliberately.

Block the predator only after evidence is preserved. Once everything is screenshotted, blocking is fine — but ask law enforcement first if you can. Investigators sometimes prefer the contact stay open under monitoring; blocking can prompt account deletion and lose evidence. If you're not in contact with investigators yet, preserve first, block second.

Write down what you know in plain sentences. Who, what platform, when it started, when you found out, what was said or shared. Use the words your child used, not your interpretation. This becomes the spine of the report tomorrow.

It is okay to wait until morning to file the report. Both tonight and tomorrow are valid. If you are exhausted, sleep. The IC3 portal at ic3.gov accepts reports any time. Local FBI field offices are open during business hours — calling first thing tomorrow is not too late.

Connect your child to RAINN or Childhelp if they want to talk to someone. These are not law enforcement. Trained counselors who listen. RAINN: 1-800-656-HOPE. Childhelp: 1-800-422-4453. Both are free, confidential, 24/7. They are also useful for you.

Get yourself one trusted adult to talk to tonight. A spouse, a sibling, a close friend, a therapist, a pastor — whoever can sit on the phone with you. You don't have to go through tonight alone, and your steady presence tomorrow depends on you not running out of fuel tonight.

Check in with your child once more before bed. “I'm proud of you for telling me. We've got this. I'm right here if you need me tonight.” Then leave their door cracked. Some kids will sleep. Some won't. Either is okay.

File the report. FBI Internet Crime Complaint Center at ic3.gov, or your nearest FBI field office at fbi.gov/contact-us/field-offices. Online enticement and sextortion of a minor are federal crimes and the FBI handles them directly.

Call your local police non-emergency line as well. Ask for the officer who handles crimes against children, or the ICAC (Internet Crimes Against Children) liaison. Local and federal can work the case together; they often coordinate.

Make a small, quiet plan for the next seven days. Who else needs to know — school counselor, family therapist, pediatrician? What does your child's screen time look like — don't go cold turkey on the device, keep stability where you can. When will you check in next? Write it down so you don't have to hold it all in your head.

Schedule a follow-up conversation with your child for tomorrow night. Just the two of you. No interrogation. The point is presence, not progress. Bring food they like. The most important thing you can do this week is keep the door open.

Take care of yourself for fifteen minutes. A walk. A shower. A meal. You are running a long game now, and the calm version of you is going to be needed for weeks, not hours. Plug yourself back in.