Crisis routing
If something is happening right now
Pick the situation that fits. Each card has the right phone number, the right service, and the next step — at the top, in big print, so you don't have to read in order.
Want a kid-readable version of this material? Two free printable booklets are available: Your Body Is Not the Enemy (body image, eating, exercise, steroids) and Stay Safe Online (platform-by-platform safety, including a step-by-step sextortion playbook).
My child is being sextorted
If your child is being threatened with intimate images — pay or we send them to your friends — you have options. Move fast, but calmly. Don't pay anyone. Don't delete anything yet.
- Don't pay anyone. Paying never ends the threats and almost always escalates them.
- Don't delete anything. Screenshot first — conversations, accounts, payment requests, usernames. With timestamps visible.
- Submit hashes of the image to Take It Down (NCMEC). Free, anonymous. Participating platforms — Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Snap, OnlyFans, Pornhub, others — block matching uploads. Works for anyone who appears in the image and is currently under 18.
- File the report with NCMEC's CyberTipline or call 1-800-843-5678. NCMEC routes reports to the FBI and to the platforms.
- For the slower step-by-step over the next 24 hours, open The First 30 Minutes.
- For the longer guide on how this works and what comes after, see the sextortion awareness page.
The longer printed version of this checklist is on Booklet 2 (Stay Safe Online), page 11 — free PDF or read on the page.
I think my child is being groomed
If something feels off — secrecy, gifts you didn't buy, a new 'friend' or older 'partner' you've never met, a push to move conversations to a private app — trust that instinct. The earlier you step in, the easier this is.
- Lock down the platform first, before the conversation. Open the platform walkthroughs for the apps your kid uses. Five-minute job; closes the recruitment door while you talk.
- Pick a script before you talk. The grooming-relevant entries in Conversation Starters — especially “If a grown-up online wants to be your friend” and “When a stranger DMs you” — give you words to use that won't shut your child down.
- Report enticement to NCMEC: file at report.cybertip.org or call 1-800-843-5678. Reports can be filed anonymously and even on suspicion.
- Read the long version: the grooming awareness page covers the four pathways and the trauma-informed disclosure patterns that most adults get wrong.
- For the slower 30-minute checklist, open The First 30 Minutes.
My child is talking about suicide or self-harm
Stay with them. The next words matter more than the next steps. You are exactly the right person to be in the room right now.
- Stay with your child. Don't leave them alone, even briefly, while you figure out what to do.
- Listen more than you talk. Don't argue. Don't minimize. Don't promise to fix it.
- If you can do so calmly, remove access to means of harm. This is one of the most evidence-supported things a parent can do in this moment.
- Call or text 988 with them. You can be on the line together. The counselors will speak to you, your child, or both of you.
- If they will not engage, you can call 988 yourself for guidance on the next move.
- If they are in immediate danger, call 911. When the operator picks up, ask for an officer trained in mental-health crisis response.
A note on language
- Avoid: “Are you serious?”, “You wouldn't actually...”, “Don't be dramatic.” All three close the door.
- Try: “I'm so glad you're telling me. Tell me more about how you're feeling.”
- Try: “We're going to figure this out together. You don't have to know what to do next. I'm here.”
For the broader algorithmic context — the content that may be feeding distress — see What the algorithm pushes at our kids. Not for the moment of crisis, but for the conversation that follows.
My child has an eating disorder
Eating disorders are medical conditions, not behavior choices. The earlier you reach for clinical help, the better the outcome. You are not overreacting.
- Call the National Alliance for Eating Disorders helpline at 1-866-662-1235. Staffed by clinicians who help you triage and find a local treatment provider. (NEDA's old helpline was discontinued in 2023; the Alliance is the active national resource.)
- Make a pediatrician appointment this week. They can rule out medical causes and start the referral chain to adolescent eating-disorder specialists.
- Don't punish the underlying distress. Don't take the phone or restrict access to friends as a consequence — that deepens secrecy and isolation, both of which make eating disorders worse.
- Read What the algorithm pushes at our kids for the algorithmic backdrop and what to do at the level of the feed.
The longer printed version of this is on Booklet 1 (Your Body Is Not the Enemy) — free PDF or read on the page.
I think my child is missing or trafficked
If you don't know where your child is and you have any reason for concern, this is a 911 call. There is no waiting period for a missing-child report — the old advice about 24-hour waits is wrong. File now.
- Call 911 immediately. File the missing-child report. Do not wait. Local law enforcement should never tell you to wait — and if anyone does, ask for a supervisor.
- Call NCMEC at 1-800-843-5678. They coordinate with law enforcement nationwide and can issue AMBER alerts when criteria are met.
- Preserve everything. Don't delete the child's social media. Take photos of their room, recent texts on shared devices, last-known account activity.
- If you suspect trafficking, the National Human Trafficking Hotline at 1-888-373-7888 is staffed 24/7 and works directly with law enforcement.
- Notify your local FBI field office at fbi.gov/contact-us/field-offices. Most have agents specialized in crimes against children.
My child sent a photo they regret
Whatever the photo is, your child is not in trouble — and the next 24 hours matter more than the next conversation. Move on the cleanup first; the conversation can come after.
- Don't delete the photo. If anyone is threatening your child with it, the photo and conversation are evidence. Screenshot the conversation thread instead.
- Submit the image to Take It Down (NCMEC). The service hashes the image on your device and asks participating platforms to block uploads of matching images. Free, anonymous, works for anyone under 18.
- If the photo is being used to threaten your child — pay or we send it — that is sextortion. Open the sextortion section above.
- If it is regret without threats, the conversation matters more than the cleanup. The conversation card “If someone asks you for a photo” has the words to use without shaming.
- For the slower 24-hour script, open The First 30 Minutes.