Discord
Discord is where gaming, fan communities, and group chats happen — and where a lot of grooming moves to once it has started somewhere else.
Two specific concerns: server-based DMs from strangers (the most common Discord grooming vector) and the platform's permissive default privacy settings on adult-style accounts.
The settings that matter
Doing four of these is meaningfully better than reading twenty things and doing none.
Turn off DMs from server members by default.
Settings → Privacy & Safety → Direct Messages → “Allow direct messages from server members” → Off. By default, anyone in a shared server can DM your child. This is the most common Discord grooming entry point.
Restrict friend requests.
Settings → Privacy & Safety → Who can add you as a friend. Set to “Friends of Friends” or “None.” “Everyone” is the default and is far too open.
Turn on safe-DM scanning.
Settings → Privacy & Safety → Safe direct messaging → “Scan direct messages from everyone.” This auto-scans incoming images for explicit content and blurs them by default. Imperfect, but valuable.
Two-factor authentication.
Settings → My Account → Two-Factor Authentication. Discord account takeovers are a common vector for spreading scams or sextortion threats; 2FA shuts most of these down.
Review server memberships every few months.
Servers your child has joined can quietly grow to dozens. Sit with them once a quarter and ask “do you still use this one?” The answer is often “no” and they will happily clear half. Leaving a server takes one tap.
Worth knowing about Discord
- Voice and video calls happen in voice channels, not as separate “calls.” Worth knowing what kinds of channels your kid spends time in.
- Direct messages on Discord can include images, videos, and voice memos — they are full-feature, not just text.
- Discord servers can be entirely public, entirely private (invite-only), or anywhere in between. Knowing which kind your kid's main servers are is more useful than trying to police every member.
- Discord is increasingly where sextortion handoffs happen — a “friend” met on Instagram says “let's move to Discord,” and the conversation continues there with disappearing messages enabled.
For your kid
Print the kid-friendly version
The Stay Safe Online booklet covers Discord (and the rest) in language written for a teen to read. Free, printable, no email required.